Wednesday, July 19, 2006

the cell phone spaz.

Travelling has turned me into *that guy*. That annoying, fumbling, totally unsuave individual who can't walk on the correct side of the sidewalk and more importantly, has not yet figured out how the hell to turn down that unbelievably annoying ringtone on his phone. Yep, that's me. But i'm fighting the good fight. Hoping to change that aspect of me pretty soon. It's been a full day of activity - we started the day with no insurance, no tax disc, and most importantly, no pink tent. At the end of the day, we have all three. Under the dictat of the fearless leader (that would be me) there is now a moratorium on all camping goods that are not pink. This is my way of punishing Paul for not having the car ready on time. Jane, Jackie and I purchased all pink (and/or childrens') goods at the Woolworths earlier this afternoon. Pink tupperware, pink garbage bags, etc. Also, for the Matthews' women who are out there, I can report to you that we have purchased from our new favorite store (Superdrug, with the 75p shampoo) all goods necessary to have a girls' weekend. Or at least, a girls' Wednesday night.

In other news, while I was waiting on line to buy the tax disc at the post office I noticed that they sell romance novels there. But more interestingly, the racial component of the romance novel seems rather strong, as evidenced by the titles that were for sale. For instance, there was "Having the Frenchman's Baby", which is at least better than "Having the Frenchmen's Baby", which would just be gross. There were others, too, such as "At the Greek Tycoon's Bidding", or the one at the discount rack, which just said "Screwing an Arab."

With love from London*

* This offer does not apply to Greek tycoons, Texas oil barons, Russian oligarchs or the Sultan of Brunei. Taxes may apply. Void where prohibited.
**This offer applies with additional force to Jane Matthews. You might have thought, because she's your sister or your mom, that she rocks, but let me tell you, she's gone above and beyond for us. Seriously.


Blogger LizardBreath said...

Damn, I'm sorry I couldn't find a pink axe. (It's probably not going to arrive in time anyway, after all this fuss.)

Have you considered writing a romance/memoir of the Rally to appeal to the English taste? "Horseman of the Golden Horde," or something?

2:02 PM  

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