Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Are wedding bells in the future???

Audrey, while raising some thorny issues, has also brought up an interesting point. We could, in fact, get married in Turkey and have this annulled in Turkmenistan, which would satisfy the requirements of Islamic law (which I believe prohibits wacky road trips by the unmarried; good thing I'm not going with a guy, because...well, lets just say that it doesn't take much to upset some people.)

Annnnywho...there are pros and cons to a brief period of matrimony. They are, starting with the pros:
1. Aforementioned satisfaction of Iran's arcane marriage/road trip statutes;
2. Temporary newlywed bliss for both of us; the first few days of wedded life are the best anyway, right? So why press it? "Quit while you're ahead" is what I have always said.
3. Gift registry...no, not at Fortunoff. More likely at Pep Boys. I mean, come on, does Fortunoff have anything that would be useful in a Fiat 126? Crystal bowls are nice and all, but will they do us any good when our brake pads are worn down and the passenger door falls off?
4. Audrey can handle all the annulment paperwork; I mean, come on, she does that stuff for a living.

But it isn't all wedding cake and honeymooning on the Straits of Hormuz. We also must consider:

1. Being married would blow our cover. Up to this point, we have been the Jack and Meg White of the Mongol Rally. That is to say, we have everyone wondering: "are they married? Brother and sister? They could be either, I guess, but they don't act like it...what's their deal?!?" This wouldn't be such a bad thing but I like to keep everyone guessing. A marriage license (which is after all public record) would shatter our veil of secrecy.
2. The marriage penalty (you know, on your taxes.)
3. Children.

Therefore, I unilaterally declare it out of the question that Audrey and I be married this August. Audrey, I don't expect you to be happy about this, but we must move on with the business at hand.

Oh by the way, everyone, we're going to have a fundraiser. More to come on that front.

PH

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